Until things got hard at work, I had always considered myself good at handling difficult people. I knew just how to deal with difficult people, in fact. I was polite with them, I did not let them get under my skin, and I walked away. Dealing with difficult men when you can’t walk away, however, is something else entirely, as I was soon to find out.
Everyone at some point or another has to deal with a difficult person at work. Perhaps it is someone who always talks and has no idea how to listen. Perhaps it is someone who is always on the defensive and they think that everything that you say is targeted towards them as an attack. Whatever the difficult persons issues are, you can bet that you won’t be able to avoid conflict with them.
Difficult people make causing conflict their specialty. No matter how good you are at resisting, they will find a way to get under your skin. Sometimes, the people difficult use passive aggressive techniques. I had a friend who had some difficult employees who were just like this. They made it difficult for you to point to anything that they did and tell them that it was wrong. They were difficult people because they always found subtle ways of misunderstanding what you were saying and screwing it up.
In my case, the person was extremely hostile. I have always been good at handling people with anger problems. I simply stay out of their way, and let them storm around in their own cloud of anger. This is a lot more difficult, however, when you are dealing with difficult people who are right next to you all day long. We had adjoining cubicles, and no matter what I would do, I was always getting on Rick’s nerves. He would find a reason to shout at someone almost everyday, but because the boss liked him, he couldn’t be fired. He was one of the most difficult people I have ever had to deal with, in fact.
Finally, I went to a business coach who told me all about handling difficult people. The key was not, as I had thought, to stay out of their way. Rather, the key was confidently facing the difficult people who have been causing your problem. Difficult people, you see, are often bullies. They thrive on making people move out of their way. If you face them, they will be quick to back down.
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