Keeping A Marriage Together In The 21st Century
Marriage Saver
For hundreds of centuries leading up to and though the 19th century, the majority of married couples stayed together. Of course, not every marriage was a happy one, but most stayed together out of necessity and a belief that this was what they were supposed to do.
Throughout the 20th century and into the 21st century, more and more married couples have decided to end their marriage at a rate of approximately 50%. There are many reasons that lead to divorce and separation, and it seems that the changes in society, especially in the American culture have made it easier than ever to end a marriage.
Here's an interesting question - does anyone actually enter a marriage, thinking that they will end in divorce? There will always be challenges in a marriage relationship. There will always be things people can do to try and minimize problems. There will always be things people can do to try and head off divorce. Although divorce has been with us for hundreds of years, let's try and find a few ways to stay married.
As a couple gets married, their vows often include a statement such as, "till death do us part" and "in sickness and in health," words suggesting that they are going to make this work. However, when the going gets tough it gets easier and easier to want to split or to actually split up. So, first and foremost, beginning a marriage with a commitment to stay together is one good foundation to stand on. This means we will not bail at the first sign of trouble.
If you didn't make a commitment, and you find yourself in your marriage struggling, it's not too late to make a commitment like that. Say to each other, "I'm sorry, I've made mistakes, I care about you, I love you" and love means working this out. That's my commitment to you, and if each person makes that commitment, there is hope.
Perhaps the biggest question asked is how a couple will actually take action with their new commitment. There are some who will be able to do this by themselves, but most will need help. Some couples choose friends and family for this type of assistance, others look to their religion for help, others will look to counselors. The most important thing is to make a plan to something different than you did before, and take action.
Until your new plan becomes a habit, it will take some effort to carry this out and you may need some outside help. Before you seek some other assistance you may want to try something simple like making a date night on the weekend. Also, be intentional about saying nice things to each other on a daily basis. Again, it will take a number of weeks for this to become a habit. So you may need to write it down and look at your plan often as you carry out the acts that tell your spouse that you care.
This isn't always easy. This isn't a cure-all. This doesn't always work, but if you love each other and you want to make your marriage happier, do something for the other person. Make that other person happy with what you do, don't try and take from the relationship. Give to each other. If each person gives to the relationship, there's a chance for that relationship to heal and grow.
About the Author:
|
