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To Get Your Ex Back Look At Your Own Mistakes

   By: Molly Laws

To Get Your Ex Back Look At Your Own Mistakes

Molly Laws

If you are determined to get your ex back you will first need to make slow and careful contact with him or her. When the time is right, be sure it's not too soon, you will have to have a face-to-face talk with your ex where you will raise the subject of getting back together. It is crucial that you handle this meeting right if you are going to regain your partner.

Before this critical meeting it's important that you get your act together. You have to do some soul searching. Consider the reasons for the break up. Be as unemotional as you possible.

Write down the reasons that you and your ex have broken up and then think about the part you played in each of them. You need to know in what areas you are willing and able to make changes.

You need to know where you will compromise and, perhaps more importantly, where you will not. Be realistic. Don't tell yourself that you will change some facet of your life or personality that you know in heart you cannot or will not change.

Now you need to be good to yourself and allow all this introspection to give you confidence. You know, that like everyone else on the face of the planet, that you have faults. You know what you are willing and able to change about yourself and what aspects of your personality are simply immutable. Allow this self knowledge to give you strength and confidence.

On the day of the meeting you have arranged with your ex give yourself plenty of time. Don't plan anything else for the day and take the day off work if necessary.

Build your confidence with plenty of positive self-talk. Look your best but don't obsess. Go meet your ex feeling good about yourself and knowing that getting back together is not only right for you, but for your ex as well.

Keep the conversation light and casual at first. Ask about the same things you would have when you were still together, work, books, sports, mutual friends, that sort of thing.

Don't be teary or grasping. When the time is right simply say that you know that some aspects of your personality can be less than desirable at times. Tell your ex that you have been doing a lot of thinking about your own foibles and that you realize that these things did contribute to the break up.

Do not say that you are willing to change in order to get him or her back. That will only make you look needy. Instead say that you are going to change in order to be a better person. That you are making changes in your life for your self, not for him or her. This is a critical moment. You have to appear to be strong and confident to your ex. At all costs avoid coming across as a needy, grasping person that is fit more for pity than for love.

Looking critically at yourself can be difficult. But if you can do it and emerge from this self-examination with renewed confidence in yourself and your ability to make needed changes you will certainly multiply your chances of getting your ex back into your life and you will become a better person as well.

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