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5 Ways To Surrender Frustrations Of Living With Invisible Illness |
By:
Lisa Copen |
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5 Ways to Surrender Frustrations of Living with Invisible Illness
Lisa Copen
"You look so good! You can't be as bad as you say. You look perfectly healthy." "You think you have fatigue? Try working full-time plus having four children! Then you'll know what chronic fatigue is." "I think you're spending too much time thinking about how you feel. You need to just get out more." "If you really wanted to get well, you'd at least try that juice drink I gave you last week. It won't hurt to try it."
And the comments go on. . . and on.
And it hurts.
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans has a chronic illness or physical condition that impacts their daily life. This can include everything from arthritis to cancer, migraines to diabetes, and back pain to fibromyalgia. One of the biggest emotional hurdles for people who suffer from illness is the invisibility of it. About 96% of illness is invisible; meaning the person who suffers from the chronic condition may appear to be a healthy individual, but who actually suffers each day from physical pain. One may never guess the intensity of the pain suffered within the confines of one's home, as she of he shows no outward signs of physical pain or disability, nor does he or she use an assistive device like a walker or wheelchair
If you have an invisible illness here are 5 ways to let go of some of the frustrations:
[1] Release people from the expectations you have of them. This will likely be a life-long process, but without taking this step, you will consistently find that people will always disappoint you. No one is perfect, even you! And it's vital to remember that those with illness do not understand the difficulties that our friends are going through, whether it's a divorce, the death of a loved one, a loss job, an ill child, etc. Your illness is incredibly significant in your life. And even though people do care, they still will have significant things going on in their own lives. Don't expect them to always be at your call.
[2] Find supportive friends. If there is someone who is constantly belittling you or doubting your illness and he is beyond listening, let go of that friendship or distant yourself from that relative. Illness has a way of helping prioritize friendships and spend our limited energies with those that mean the most to us.
[3] Search for blessings in your life. Make a commitment to stop dwelling on how badly you feel, and instead search for ways to bring more joy into your life, even if it's just appreciating the small things. What are you doing when you feel natural adrenaline kick in and give you extra energy? Most likely, that's where your passions are! Bring more of these into your life. And don't let your limitations stop you. For example, if you once loved to garden, now you could grow a few potted flowers or hire a neighborhood teenager to plant some vegetables and set up an automatic sprinkler system. If you want to aim high, consider starting a garden consulting business.
[4] Use your talents and skills for things you have a personal interest in. Don't allow yourself to feel like the skills you learned in a workplace are no longer valuable. Maybe you've always wanted to write children's books or be a business consultant. Plug in and do some volunteer or part-time work to continue to grow professionally and use your skills for project you feel passionate about. Rather than focusing on what others aren't doing to comfort you, follow your dreams and give that gift to yourself.
[5] Encourage someone else. You personally know how hard it is to live with illness and to feel like no one understands. So take time to be vulnerable with someone else who is going through this. Whether you meet someone through an online group such as National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week's message boards, or through your local support group, volunteer your time and expertise (yes, you're an expert on living with invisible illness!) and use it to make someone else's journey easier and you'll find your own is more enjoyable too. Are you frustrated that no one at your church thinks your invisible illness is real? Rather than stop going to church, find ways to educate them, such as a column in the church newsletter or brochures about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. These say what to say/not to say to a chronically ill person.
None of us can change another person or make someone care-but we can educate them and give gentle advice. We must also continue to work on ourselves. You'll find that even when you want to change it can be a real challenge, requiring discipline and motivation for a better life. You owe it to yourself to find joy despite your illness, and by focusing on how you can change your circumstances, instead of change other people, you'll be much more personally rewarded.
Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine_ill.htm) subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of http://www.invisibleillness.com/ Invisible Illness Awareness
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article71116.html |
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