|
My Son Is Terribly Shy, What Can I Do To Help Him? |
By:
Dr. Noel Swanson |
|
|
My Son Is Terribly Shy, What Can I Do To Help Him?
Dr. Noel Swanson
Q. "How can I help my 7 year old son? He is so shy that he hardly talks to anyone other than family members".
A. Some children are naturally slower than others to warm to people. Still, they can usually learn to overcome their fears and become less anxious. You have to take one step at a time, starting from where they are, and building on each success.
First, help him to find activities that he likes and is successful with. The more times he can experience being good at something, the more confident he will become. He will also have the added advantage of having more to talk about. The more people involved, the better. Don't pressure him too hard to do things he's resisting, but don't make it too easy for him to opt out. Sometimes kids balk at doing something even when they know inside that they'll have fun.
Deliberately set up some social situations as learning experiences for him. Start with easy ones and then build up. For example, going to the movies with a friend is dead easy - they sit in the dark and don't have to talk to each other at all! Yet they can have fun together.
Begin by planning easy and structured activities with not very many people. As he becomes comfortable interacting with his friends, then try a more challenging event. Be sure you set levels at which success is a sure thing. That way everyone will be up for doing it again.
Build the social encounters around the activities he enjoys. If it is computer games, then have some friends around (one at first, then more) to play games with him, and talk about the games they are playing.
When it's time to visit adults, tell them about your son's latest adventures playing the computer game. Let him be the one to correct you about any details. Hopefully, he'll become engaged and start talking about some of the high points for him. You can even clue the adults in ahead of time about things to ask him.
If he chooses not to talk, don't force him but don't make excuses for him It's his choice to talk or not. Try drawing him into conversations. You might ask him something like, "How did Mario get lost in the Mansion?". This is an open ended question and will be easy for him to answer and elaborate on. Don't make it difficult for him by asking something that just requires a one word answer, or ask about something that's hard for him.
It will take time, but your son will find confidence in talking and being around people. Gradually, he'll take more chances and talk about things he isn't so sure of. If you help him to make talking fun, then he'll do it more. Conversely, if it's hard or embarrasses him, then he'll do it less.
Finally, don't call him "shy". The more he hears you say this, the more convinced he will be that that is just how he is and that he cannot change. In time he might even use this as an excuse: "I can't do that - I'm too shy!" Instead, emphasise his positive qualities - his gentleness, kindness, politeness etc.
It may all take some time, but if you keep it all positive and affirming, he should get there.
More information on how to solve http://www.good-child-guide.com/child-behavior-problems-2) children's behavioral problems can be found on Dr. Noel Swanson's website, packed with tips and help on solving http://www.good-child-guide.com/ Child Behavior Problems. Make sure you get his FREE newsletter and 1 hour audio too.
|
|
Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article70887.html |
|
|
|
|
|
