Weddings And Kids: Not A Match Made In Heaven
Larissa Levise
Most of the romantic and idyllic wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and lovable children. However, being the cheery, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously amusing.
Most kids are fun seekers, and will have no qualms about amusing themselves when things get dull. They can also have a hard time calming down and appreciating the importance of the day, the way adults do. When it comes right down to it, weddings can be very boring for children.
Usually, a bored kids means trouble for adults. Instead of sitting quietly, they'll giggle, fidget and make noise. They'll wander around, play with their food, squabble with other kids and even break things. These antics may seem funny to the children but can be nightmarish to adults. Especially the bride and groom.
Inviting children
Let's face it. The reality is that more and more brides and grooms are not fond of the idea that children would be coming to their weddings.
The very thought of having an unruly child mess up her gown or upset the bridesmaids sets panic in any bride-to-be. Unfortunately, many parents are not very sensitive to the concern. They don't appreciate or comprehend how a bride could not want their cute and loveable kids at the wedding.
Wedding etiquette guides and books suggest that you should make it clear on the invitation that children are not invited. They offer two ways of stating that the bride and groom would rather not have children in attendance. Either omit the kids' names from the invitation, or verbally spread the word that your wedding is an "adult only" occasion.
The second option can make you feel uncomfortable, but it is better than having to endure a child's tantrums or misbehavior during your special day.
Not everyone understands or appreciates wedding etiquette, so it's perfectly sensible and acceptable to be straightforward about your wishes. So, go ahead and inform guests beforehand that your wedding involves an 'adult ceremony and reception.'
In some cases, you will need to be frank in telling guests that kids are not welcome at the ceremony or the reception. It may seem impolite, but think about it from a practical standpoint. Formality is an important element in your once-in-a-lifetime day. Recognize and protect it.
If you'd like to be a little more subtle, you can simply state the number of seats that are reserved for your guests. When you say that "Mr. and Mrs. Mercer have two seats reserved" on the invitation, you're clearly stating that Mercer's five kids will not have a place at the wedding. There should be no question about it.
If your guests are still clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, contact them before the wedding and explain why their children may not attend the wedding. They may need a little wedding etiquette education.
Wedding etiquette for the parents
If you receive a wedding invitation that doesn't state that kids are excluded, and if the couple has not called to emphasize the point, you may assume that it's OK to bring the kids along. You should check with the couple, however, as a courtesy.
As a parent, remember your wedding etiquette. If your kids misbehave, deal with any unruly behavior right away. You wouldn't want some kid's tantrum spoiling your wedding.
Imagine that you are the bride or groom, and how you would feel if a child caused a scene at your wedding. Suddenly, the kids may begin to lose a little of their cuteness.
As a guest of the bridal couple, take the initiative and leave the kids at home. They'll likely have more fun doing their own thing, playing with their own toys or watching TV. Even homework can be more fun than a wedding. Formal events are terribly boring for kids, and bored kids can create wedding-crashing scenes.
For those who must bring children with them on weddings, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, make the occasion an opportunity to teach the kids of simple and practical wedding etiquette. Turn the occasion into a lesson by informing the child that he or she should behave through out the occasion just like how to adult guests behave.
A wedding can be a great time for children to learn how to behave properly, and to pick up some important social skills and table manners.
Wedding etiquette also tells us to learn from each occasion. It teaches couples how to be good and patient hosts. It teaches parents to take responsibility for their children and to teach the kids valuable social skills.
Freelancer Larissa Levise is an author for numerous popular web sites, on
http://tocip.com/ family friends and
http://yetra.com/ child family issues.
