I'm Happy, You're Happy....but What Is Happiness?
Rick London
Recently a friend sent me an email asking me my secret to happiness. It took me by surprise as I didn't have an answer. I can remember a time in my life when my moods would swing, I had depression, but I was treated and do not live with that now. But happy? I wouldn't exactly call it that.
The truth is, I had to think about it. Growing up, I was known as morose, sad, and moody. What was this "happiness" thing. To be honest, I thought Rowan And Martin were onto something when they sarcastically said, "May the bluebird of happiness fly up your nose".
As in Kafka's memorable opening line in Anna Karinina "All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". We had our own way of being unhappy. And if someone tried to change that status quo it was considered "making waves". Victim mentality was a good thing. People felt sympathy. It was also a very unhealthy thing, fueled with a good bit of dysfunction. But I feel grateful to have experienced it and moved on, learned from it, and possibly won't repeat it.
Happiness, to me, if there is such a thing, is really getting down to basics. By basics I mean go as far back as The U.S. Constitution "...and the pursuit of happiness" which is actually written by these stern men with no smiles, at least not in their renderings, but they knew the importance of it.
To go back some centuries before that, even Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true".
With this in mind, let's count how many ways we compromise our happiness, or make certain it does not happen. We take jobs which are terrible but pay well. We do not like our co-workers and they do not like us. We do not like our boss and he does not like us either. We get married and have kids out of peer pressure. All our friends and associates did it, but we were not ready, or the opposite. We decided not to get married as we grew up in an unhappy home, and we would "show our parents with sweet revenge" (That was my modus operandi for many years). Suddenly it occurred to me they didn't care what I did as long as I was in the pursuit of happiness. Besides, they were deceased. Or we spend too much on credit to impress someone or a lot of people and then feel the pressure as the bills come.
We learn some mighty lessons from these "failures of adulthood" and I do not say that judgementally. I am no different than anyone else in this arena. I have changed careers many times (put on new masks) until I found the one that fit me. It worked and I am much happier. I didn't say happy. I dont know if I am or not. But I am usually optomistic.
"It's a process, Doc!", explaimed gangster Robert DeNiro to Billy Crystal in the hilarious movie "Analyze That". He was talking about recovery from a bad childhood (Crystal was the psychiatrist who ended up getting more help from DeNiro). It is a movie worth seeing, not just because of the great comedy, but because of the analogies they represent regardingreal life and painful growth and change.
When I simplify my life and make myself healthier, I make myself available to more emotionally available people. That part is my responsibility. I cannot ask the universe to do it for me. It won't. I have to do the legwork. It is fine to pray if you are a believer (and I am), but whether you are or not )a believer), the legwork still has to be done.
As far as work, life is too short to do work you hate. We do not live in our parent's generation. The opportunities are endless in the workplace. Yes, at times to find the job we really want, we may have to start at lower pay, but doing what we love attracts the kind of income that suits us.
I am not saying one has to work in the world of cartooning or humor to be happy. But it doesn't hurt to expose oneself to it.
When I was losing my mother to cancer, I read a book by retired surgeon Dr. Bernie Siegel who wrote a best-seller in the 1980's, Love, Laughter, And Healing. He had incurable brain cancer and exposed himself to many comedy movies, videos, cartoons, books, etc. He didn't know if it would help heal him, but he knew he would at least get to laugh in his final days. Within a few years, the cancer was in remission and he still is alive and writing two decades later. I have talked to him several times on the phone, when mom was sick, and he gave me some direction as to what life is about. And adding humor to it seemed to be a necessity.
Aside from Dr. Seigel's advice, a Gary Larson Far Side exhibit I saw in Washington, D.C in 1986 maybe had the most impact on me to demonstrate just how important humor is in our culture. Dr. Seigel taught me how healing it is. Knowing I am in a field that makes people laugh and feel healed, offers a great deal of joy into my own life. So helping others is an action in my pursuit of hapiness.
Giving the gift of laughter is kind of like Passing It Forward. It is contagious and people like being around you. Give it a try. It can be a gift, a joke, a story, or all of the above.
The Internet's most visited cartoon is Londons Times www.londonstimes.us by Rick London. He also has numerous cartoon funny gift shops which he feels help spread happiness One cartoon gift item store is http://www.ricklondoncollection.com/ Top Cartoonist Rick London Shares Ways To Become Happier
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