The Double Edged Sword: Maintaining Boundaries In Rapport
Kenrick Cleveland
"It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer
The benefits of rapport are innumerable. But there is also a downside to it. It's one of the early lessons I learned about the use of rapport.
I used to sell encyclopedias when I was young, and I would go into a person's home, and I would sit down and I would get in rapport with them. I would learn about their family, about their little kids, about all the stuff that was going on in their house.
One of the visits I made was in Washington, in a little town that was having some difficult times financially. I had no idea about the depressed economy before I started working the area, and by the time I had figured it out, I had booked a room and made the travel plans, etc. so I had to make some sales. It wasn't easy to get the appointments, that's for sure. And when I finally did have a sit down with a prospect and gain that rapport, I'd eventually get to the big question: 'Do you see the value in what I've shown you so far?'
'Sure. I definitely see the value. These are great encyclopedias.'
'Do you see how with our question answering service, that your child can have any question answered that they need help with? This could be helpful on their reports, it could be just helpful in their learning and education overall? In fact, wouldn't you like to use this, too?'
'Sure. I'd love to use them and I know my kids would definitely benefit.'
'Fabulous. Well then, why don't we get you started?'
'I'd love to, but with the mill closing. . .' uh oh. Then they went into their story.
And by the time we got to the end of their story, I was in such deep rapport with this guy that I was almost in tears.
'Well, of course, I understand that you're not going to buy anything from me today, I mean, you know, we can always come back at some later time in the future, and if you just make sure and have my information, my card, we'll be able to come in when you do have some money, when you're able to get back to work.'
And, I did this day, after day, after day. Until I realized, all of a sudden, oops, I think this is kind of hurting me, and what I did, one day, is I didn't have as much rapport, or so I thought, didn't have nearly as much, but they liked the materials so well and even though they didn't have the money, they said they were going to go ahead and buy it.
After they'd bought it, they told me their story about how the mill had closed, and how they weren't working, but their kids were the most important thing to them that even though they didn't have the money, their kids were most important and they were going to do it.
This was a revelation to me. They were not going to allow them to suffer because of their financial situation, and they would do whatever it took in order to get their kids the education they needed.
What this story shows is that if you jump into rapport with somebody and get in there really deep, there's the potential that you forget about your outcome. What happens is you become putty in their hands, instead of the other way around. We want our prospects and clients to be putty in our hands.
When creating this rapport, maintain your outcome. Maintain the intention of what it is you're going to do. Set it strong in your heart that no matter what they have to say to you, your outcome is going to be realized.
Intention is what makes these skills so powerful. Your intention is not to make new friends, your intention is to sell.
What is your intention? How are you maintaining boundaries and defining rapport?
Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy clients using http://www.maxpersuasion.com/ persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in http://www.maxpersuasion.com/ persuasion techniques.
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