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One Question To Ask Yourself Before He Proposes

   By: Wendy Bridger

One Question To Ask Yourself Before He Proposes

Wendy Bridger

With Valentines Day around the corner, you see the typical gifts stocked in every store. Many women can expect to receive these token gifts: flowers, a box of chocolates, or a card. Some hope for something more meaningful this season: a small jewelry box containing an engagement ring, the symbol of moving their relationship to the next level.

Having someone pop the question is a memorable event for any woman. How could I resist the military saber arch my husband organized when he proposed to me? There he was waiting on one knee at the end of it, ring in hand, offering me his love and commitment through a simple question. I'm so glad I said yes that day. It was the best decision I've ever made.

Sadly, the joy of this event fades all too soon for many new brides as the hype and the excitement of the wedding goes away and real life together begins. All too often, women fall for the presentation of the moment, and forget to ask themselves another important question ahead of time: "Is he the right one for me?"

All too many couples today are "sliding" instead of "deciding" in their relationships. They meet and like each other well enough to go out a few times. When no one better shows up, they continue the relationship. After a year or so of this, they decide they've gotten along well enough, and maybe should more their relationship to the next level and move in together. Eventually they marry for the same reason: moving the relationship forward is easier than moving on to the right relationship. But did they ever ask, "Is this the right person for me?" Often they do not, and wonder why the marriage falls apart.

It's hard to imagine, but studies show those who live together before marriage actually have a higher divorce rate. How is this possible? I believe it is because of the way people choose their marital partners nowadays. Instead of deciding on who to marry based on compatibility and future goals, couples now slide into marriage more as a matter of default.

This doesn't have to be you. As you wait for him to pop the question, take time to an equally important question. Decide if he really is the right one for you. It will make all the difference in how you remember his proposal ten years from now.

How can you honestly know if he's the right one? You're heart it too caught up in everything to make any sort of logical decision. And your friends and family all are biased in one way or another. What you need is an impartial process to guide your heart. Unbiased information, compatibility tests combined with an honest evaluation of the relationship is a good way to start answering this question and knowing what to do this February 14th.

Wendy Bridger, MSSW helps women create lasting soul mate relationships. "Is He Right for Me?" is a compatibility test she offers to help women choose if their man is Mr. Right.

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