6 Things Churches Can Do To Really Help The Chronically Ill
Lisa Copen
Nearly 1 in 2 people in the United State of American have a chronic condition, which means, that if you're not suffering, it's likely someone you love who is silently enduring great hardships.
Oftentimes a chronic illness, such as chronic fatigue syndrome, or chronic pain like migraines or back pain, is undetectable to those around them. It may surprise you to know that, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, approximately 96% of the people who have an illness do not use an assistive device, like a cane or a wheelchair. Pain is nearly always invisible. Those that are ill usually do everything that they can to get to church. They want to be part of the church community and they appear to be healthy. Still, just sitting through the service can be extremely difficult.
I remember one specific day that I tried to make it through a church service. My rheumatoid arthritis was flaring badly, but since I had gotten there, I was determined to stay. "Please stand" they announced during worship and I took a deep breath and carefully pulled myself up, using the pew in front of me for leverage and balance. At the age of 24, fifteen years of living with this disease has left my feet deformed and painful, and my knees need joint replacements as soon as possible. I rolled my eyes as they sang a worship song and the lyrics declared, "I will stand in spite of pain."
Surrounded by people who care about me, a church I love, I still felt lonely and misunderstood. How must those with illness who also deal with deep depression cope when they feel even their own church doesn't understand the magnitude of their illness?
It's no secret that churches feel responsible for the many needs that already must be fulfilled in their church body and when someone shares another need it can be seen as an inconvenience. And these needs are visible ones. So the question from pastors is often, "If people aren't saying anything about their pain, then that means they are dealing with it fine? Right? We tell them to send in prayer requests or let us know if they need anything and they don't speak up, so evidently they are doing okay with it? Their faith should sustain them during those valleys."
Let's look at some stunning statistics:
- Despite what we are led to believe by our media, 60% of the people who suffer with daily pain or illness are between the ages of 18 and 64. - 75 percent of marriages that have at least one person with a chronic illness end in divorce. - Depression has been found to be 15-20% higher for the chronically ill than it is for the average person. - Various studies have discovered that physical illness (not mental illness) or uncontrollable physical pain are major factors in up to 70% of suicides.*
So there is a cause for concern. Whether a pastor or church leadership can see it or not, those church pews are packed with ailing bodies. And the suffering bodies are filled with broken spirits. These are the broken-hearted that Jesus promises blessings for.
But the question is, if people aren't talking about their pain, how do you know how to reach out to them? How can you understand their needs?
(1) Perform a survey about what people may desire that they are not mentioning to the church leadership. This is especially vital if you belong to a large church. People are less likely to ask for help when they don't know the church staff intimately and reluctant to mention their illness. They are afraid they will be bombarded with all the scriptures about healing. A recent Barna group study discovered that larger churches were the least likely to have congregational care ministries listed as a priority (Church Priorities for 2005 Vary Considerably).
In your survey ask questions such as, "If we provided a van for transportation to church events, would it increase your attendance? If our service was online as a web cast, would you listen or watch it when you were too ill to attend? Do you know who to contact at our church if you have personal needs for personal assistance (especially when your condition is chronic, not acute)? Would having the song lyrics available on paper be easier for you to see than just having the overhead? How could we make the service more comfortable for you, for example, are the seats comfortable?" Sit down with a group of people who manage daily chronic pain and ask them for a wish list. Then prioritize what your church can do immediately and what should be longer term goals.
(2) Organize a care group, similar to other small groups your church has, for the chronically ill. For example, Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization for those who live with chronic illness, has a small group program, HopeKeepers. They have a great selection of resource materials, Bible studies and support for group leaders. A group like this can be a turning point for people who really need the hands on support and understanding. Talking and praying about one's illness week after week in a regular small group can feel like you are a burden to others. But having a small group environment that is a "safe place" where everyone "speaks the same language" and even laughs at the same silly stories can be refreshing. The group doesn't need to be large. Even just having the chance to hand out with one other person can be life-changing. Be a church that recognizes the struggles of chronic illness and provide an oasis for people.
(3) Ask special guests to come and speak at your church. There are many people who have physical disabilities that go to churches and share their testimony; they will encourage everyone in your church. Allowing them to stand on the stage and share what God has accomplished in their lives, despite physical challenges, demonstrates to the people in your church, especially the chronically ill, that you do recognize their needs. They will feel you care, and perhaps most importantly, that you believe they are still worthy to be used by God. People such as Nick Vujicic, Lisa Copen, Joni Eareckson Tada, and many others, minister to the masses, not just those with disabilities.
(4) Discuss the possibility of adding a parish nurse to your church staff. The number of parish nurses in United States is estimated to be about 6000, according to the Marquette University College of Nursing. If you church has a lot of seniors this may be an obvious need and she will help organize the ministries to this group of people. There are a lot of retired nurses who are discovering this kind of ministry engaging and parish nurse certification can be found at most hospitals. The parish nurse position description includes a variety of duties, depending on your church's needs and goals. For example, the role of the parish nurse may include going to homes of church members to monitor high blood pressure or diabetes, organizing health screenings and fairs, starting walking groups, and even assisting with chronic illness and disability ministries. The parish nurse would network closely with the congregational care pastor.
(5) Have your church library be the source for all materials related to health, illness, caregiving, and Christian ministries. A large percentage of people with chronic illness are on a fixed-income and yet they really want encouragement. So fill up your library with items like books on living with chronic illness such as "Why Can't I Make People Understand?" or "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend," by Lisa Copen or Joni Eareckson Tada's remarkable book on suffering, "When God Weeps." Subscribe to a few magazine subscriptions like "HopeKeepers", "Guideposts" or even "Arthritis Today." Don't forget books on tape, audio presentations and large-print items when they are available. Be a part of creating awareness in the church by posting flyers or having brochures available about chronic illness or disability ministries, such as Joni and Friends "Wheels for the World" program or Rest Ministries' annual outreach, "National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week." A volunteer could also put together a binder of local and national ministry resources.
(6) Finally, and perhaps most importantly, keep in mind that people with illness want to help serve. Not just be served. Proverbs 11:25 says, "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." For example, if a woman with a chronic illness explains that she must resign from teaching Sunday school, make sure she knows that she is welcome to serve in other ways when she is ready. Though she no longer is physically able to teach four-year-olds, she may discover that she loves writing notes to people who have just been diagnosed with a chronic illness. A man may discover that he prefers mentoring another man with a chronic illness one-on-one, instead of leading a weekly Bible study. Let people know that you value wounded healers and that your church believes that God comforts us "so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Roughly twice a month someone shares their broken heart with me because, after much prayerful consideration, they have gone to their pastor to ask him to consider allowing them to start a HopeKeepers small group. The response is "You can minister to others once you are healed." It makes me so saddened to see people who believe they are no longer useful to their church-or God-until they are healed from their illness.
Luke 14:21 tells us that Jesus shares a parable of a great banquet. When the host's friends all turned down his hospitality he instructs, "Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame." This is still a commandment to our churches today. First, we must work on providing a setting where we offer unconditional hospitality. We need to first "go out" into our own congregation and provide a place of refuge; then the people who have experienced the comfort in our church will be available to walk alongside the rest of the neighborhood with open arms of understanding.
Get a free list of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you
http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine_ill.htm) signup for to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa founded
http://www.invisibleillness.com/ Invisible Illness Week
