Child Behavior Problems: Trying To Get You Child To Stop Stealing
Dr. Noel Swanson
The reasons why some children steal are varied. Some of them crave the excitement. Others may want to look cool to their friends, or may actually want the item in question. Still others want some sort of revenge on their parents, or stealing may give them comfort. A staggering 25% of children steal or have stolen during their short lifetimes. Usually once is enough, but those who become repeat offenders keep it up because they get what they are looking for. Whether it's attention, money or just the excitement, stealing does the job of providing it.
The big question of course is, how to make them stop? They need to find other ways to get those needs met and you need to help.
Along with this, your main emphasis needs to be on promoting honesty. Use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, as a starting point for talking about honesty, integrity, and family morals.
Of course it's imperative that you set a good example. Turning in a lost wallet or giving back too much change when you receive it. Doing these things won't be lost on your children.
Your primary emphasis is on promoting honesty. You can use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, to begin to instill the values of honesty, integrity, and family morals.
If you do catch them stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper will not help, and may even act as a reward for them. Secondly, do not tempt them to lie their way out of it.
Encourage your child to do the right thing. This means putting it right. Not just paying back what was stolen, but also paying compensation for the inconvenience and disrespect caused by the theft. Ideally, the child should do this himself, probably with your support. Here are some suggestions:
Return the goods to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.
If taken from a stranger, confiscate the goods (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine.
In the event that he spent the money or sold the item to get money, require him to sell something of his own. You can even buy it from him but make sure that he knows the item is gone forever.
If taken from a stranger, remove the items (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine or loss of privileges.
Giving him the chance to return the stolen goods to the victim, teaches your child about doing the right thing. If he won't do it then it's up to you to set an even higher penalty. You must stay on message, which is always doing the honest thing. Honesty is the best policy even if it comes after the theft.
Another option that has an effect is to arrange for some "community service" for the theft victim or, if you don't know their identity, for the family or neighbors.
Finally, once it is over, get over it. Get back into reward mode, look for the things your child is doing right, not wrong, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is the enemy, not your child.
Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.
Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)
More information on how to solve http://www.good-child-guide.com/child-behavior-problems-2) children's behavioral problems can be found on Dr. Noel Swanson's website, which is all about correcting http://www.good-child-guide.com/ Child Behavior Problems. Sign up for his FREE newsletter and 1 hour audio too.
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