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Valentines Romance Tips For Women With A Chronic Illness |
By:
Lisa Copen |
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Valentines Romance Tips For Women With A Chronic Illness
Lisa Copen
"Hot and bothered!" For most people these words create images of being twisted up in sheets, breathlessly reaching out to the one you love. For those with chronic illness, however, "hot" is more likely to refer to one's thyroid condition, night sweats, or a heating pad on high. "Bothered. . ." Well, let's just say when your body aches, everything makes you feel bothered: a cat that won't move off your leg, a joint that continues to throb, and a husband that is able to snore through minor earthquakes. It can be hard to be romantic!
Most people don't realize that nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S.A. And when it comes to marriages, chronic illness and mental illness, does not have a good impact! Seventy-five percent of marriages end in divorce. It takes more than Valentine's Day romance a few days a year to keep a marriage alive and romantic.
So! How do you get the spark back? Here are some creative romantic gift ideas and ways to say, "I love you."
Put forth some effort. No more excuses. "I'm so exhausted, I don't feel that great. My body feels like it was run over by a truck." I've said them all. But guess what? If you have an illness you'll probably always be tired in a way normal people aren't tired. So put on some music and relax. The distraction of romance can make you forget about a great deal of the pain!
Make romance a priority. That means not spending the whole Saturday cleaning your house and then being exhausted. Rest up, even if it's just so you can have a conversation without falling asleep.
Be enthusiastic during your romantic evening. Even if you're just going out for dinner, don't say, "I'm doing this just for you. I don't really feel like it." (Oh, yeah, that will turn him on.) Smile and talk about pleasant memories or dreams you have. Promise yourself not to talk about your illness for just one night.
Even if you don't have the gift of writing poetry, do something that tells your spouse how much you appreciate him. Cover a page with sentences of things you appreciate and love using different colored markers. Make up a mini-photo albumn.
Surely your spouse does some things for you without complain. Does he bring home your favorite ice cream? Throw in a load of laundry? Never expect you to iron or serve a five course meal? Write down all of the things you notice he does that you don't usually thank him for and give it to him as a special appreciation note.
Women, let's get real. Regardless of your weight, get over feeling self-conscious and buy some underwear from a store that doesn't also sell tires.
Ask your teen how to use that text message feature on your cell phone and send him a message that will make him look twice at who sent it to him! Go for it and be romantic, especially if it's the kind of thing you'd never usually do or say.
Make up coupons for something he would like but wouldn't typically splurge on for himself. For example, "Good for 5 guilt-free hours of going fishing with the guys." Don't make him feel guilty whenever he wants to do something you can participate in (like going for a bike ride or on a roller coaster.)
Perfect marriages don't exist. But they can be one of the most amazing experiences in your life when both people are involved in keeping it alive. In fact, the existence of a chronic illness in a marriage can make your relationship even stronger. Romance comes in many forms. I know I loved my husband more than ever the evening I literally couldn't move when I had a rheumatoid arthritis flare and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved or screamed out in pain.
Love comes in many forms. One of the books I've bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. It talks a lot about "love languages" and how men feel loved when they feel respected, while women want to feel loved with emotions and words. Oftentimes we are offering our spouse what we desire rather than the "love language" they need. Being aware of all of the small ways we can show each other love and respect add up to romance when you least expect it.
Free 40 pages of http://www.beyondcasseroles.com ) "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" by Lisa Copen when you sign up for http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine_ill.htm) HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article65290.html |
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