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7 Secrets To Happiness When You Live With Illness |
By:
Lisa Copen |
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7 Secrets To Happiness When You Live With Illness
Lisa Copen
As I type this my 4-year-old son is sitting beside me. He has a cold and a slight fever, but all he has said today since he woke up six hour ago is "I'm better now. I'm all better." How much can our attitude change how we cope with a chronic illness and even make us happy?
Everyone handles the troubles in their lives in assortment of ways. While some people put on a happy face and intentionally decide they will use their illness as an opportunity, others will drive home from the physician's office anxious about how much longer they will be able to drive because of the seriousness of the pain. They'll lie down on the couch and not leave the house for years. Why do some people thrive even though they have a chronic illness while others simply go into survival mode, even using the illness as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in their life?
People who live with chronic illness and still exude happiness and joy for life have some things in common. None of us are perfect, so even if we tend to cope well with our disease, there is likely a step listed below that we could take to improve our outlook on life.
People who live with an illness and who still are happy tend to have he following things in common:
[1] They possess hope. Research has shown that hope actually increases the speed at which people recover from surgery. Hope is vital and a necessary step in finding contentment despite our circumstances. The 2006 theme of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through." We all should live with this attitude.
[2] They carry on and keep going no matter what with a persevering attitude. Living with constant chronic pain is very tiring! Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, chronic pain can quickly deplete our strength and spirit. Our good health is one of the main things our society counts on to help us reach our dreams, even referring to the saying, "At least you have your health!" But when you live with unending chronic pain and still are able to find happiness, part of the reason is because--though you adapt our dreams-you still have them. At times, these new purposes can be more exhausting than the original ones, but passion can produce a lot of adrenaline.
[3] They are good advocates of their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of "Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired," write "Getting this help in a consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be committed to getting them" (p. 160). People who take part in the decision making process on the topic of their care and treatment, and who actively hunt for out doctors who will partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For example, if it's one's desire to have children it's important to have a medical team that will understand this desire and provide good treatment even if they don't agree with your decision, rather than reprimand you by giving you poor care.
[4] They don't play the victim role. They say "Why not me?" rather than "Why me?" To form this attitude can take time if it doesn't come naturally. But by being involved with organizations that serve people who are ill, have cancer, or who have left abusive homes--whatever your passions are--you will begin to understand that this world is not perfect. When things are going right in their lives, they recognize it as a blessing, not a right.
[5] They understand who they are and so aren't overly sensitive, taking other's comments too personally. If one has a strong faith this can make everything much simpler because one understands her value and worth as a person doesn't count on what she can accomplish with her physical strength. She learns what she is accountable for (like an attitude) and not (like an infection that keeps returning). This can help keep away unnecessary guilt for things out of her power.
[6] They communicate adeptly. Being able to talk with others, explain your feelings, learning to listen effectively, and watching your words carefully, can help you avoid a lot of troubles. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments can affect your whole life and your body's capacity to cope with an illness. One must learn to manage bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people with illness are good at understanding when to talk about their illness and how much to share about their personal lives.
[7] They sincerely care about other people. Your illness may not have been the education you had hoped to get, but people who are happy see their experiences as a gift of knowledge. They can share their ups and downs, and struggles and successes with others who are going through challenging experiences and need a friend or mentor. To truly find happiness, we must search outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.
Author J.K. Rowling once said, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." This is such an applicable quote for those who live with chronic pain every day.
Instant download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine_ill.htm) subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of http://www.invisibleillness.com/ Invisible Illness Awareness
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article64874.html |
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