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Three Things To Consider When He Meets Your Parents |
By:
Wendy Bridger |
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Three Things To Consider When He Meets Your Parents
Wendy Bridger
Meeting the parents is always a fun and nerve racking step for a new relationship. One of the most important things that comes from introducing each other to family is the feed back that comes. Many people care a lot about what their family thinks of their boyfriend, and their approval or lack of approval will impact the success of the relationship.
If your potential mother in law disapproves, that might influence your boyfriend's opinion of you for better or for worse. On the other side, if he is visiting your family and is having difficulty fitting in, you might see it as a bad sign.
What kind of part should your families play in assisting you decide, "Is he the one?" While it is important to consider what your parents say about him, the ultimate decision still lies with you. Here are a few things to think about when meeting his family or vice versa.
1. Pay attention to how he interacts with family.
If you are the guest, now is a great time to get the inside peek of how he will probably treat you in the future. Pay especially close attention to how he treats his mother. Most of us let our hair down around family and show our true selves. If you notice your boyfriend is rude or demeaning to his mom, watch out! However, if you see him respecting her, serving her and including her, you might have keeper. Often, men end up treating their wives similarly to how they treat their mothers.
If he is visiting your family, now is the time to see how he fits in with your loved ones. Does he easily find common ground with your dad or brothers? Is he kind and respectful to your mom? Or is he making it hard to be home by hogging your attention and insisting that you keep doing your own thing as a couple? These are all things to contemplate when deciding if he is the one.
2. Consider the reaction you get from family members.
More than likely, the hosting family will directly or indirectly let you know what they think of your relationship. How deeply you value family approval will determine how much weight this has on your relationship. Take these two things in mind when accepting or rejecting your family's opinion.
First of all, realize that most family's opinions will be based on emotion. Take this into account when determining the level of merit you give to what they say. Also, it is important to get specific feedback. Be sure to ask why they feel the way they feel about your relationship. For example, your boyfriend's mother might not like you because you can't cook. This feedback is only important if your boyfriend wants to be with a good cook. Otherwise, it is irrelevant feedback.
3. Recognize that family cannot make this important decision for you.
Your family's response is a valuable resource in deciding whether to pursue a relationship further. They might point out things you have overlooked, and you get a chance to see your boyfriend in an important setting for the future. However, there are many other things to consider before deciding, "Is he the one?" After all, you are going to be the one living with this guy, not your family, not his family. Ultimately, this decision must be made considering other factors, like compatibility and universal relationship truths.
So, stop stressing and enjoy the family time. Discover more about this aspect of each other's life, and put to use more accurate tools in deciding if he's the right one.
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article64740.html |
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