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Sibling Rivalry Might Look Scary But Are Really Normal |
By:
Shevach Pepper |
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Sibling Rivalry Might Look Scary But Are Really Normal
Shevach Pepper
Sibling rivalry is found in most families and is not uncommon. Dont stress when your kids fight and argue amongst themselves, it is part of the growing process. This does not always happen in every family but it does happen a lot.
As long as the children have a good relationship and seem otherwise happy, it is nothing to worry about. If sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child, this should be dealt with. Ignoring it will not make it go away and it could cause your child problems when it comes to making and maintaining relationships with others in the future.
Reasons for siblings to be jealous of one another, to provoke one another and for sibling rivalry include:
Jealous or aggressive personalities
Poor self-esteem
Very little social skills
People suffering from low self-esteem tend to be unhappy with themselves and seek validation from others, especially family members. If their view is outwardly focused in this way, they can become envious and think others are better than them. If this person also lacks social skills, they might relieve their frustration by "acting up" with their siblings. He or she might also be provoked easily. This is the main cause of sibling rivalry.
How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry
The solution to dealing with unhealthy sibling rivalries is to do so indirectly if you can. Dealing directly means you risk alienation by seeming to take sides. This can result in the child feeling victimized, blaming you and becoming withdrawn or aggressive.
Dealing with this problem? Here are some tips:
Make sure the child has plenty of attention, love and support.
Spend time with the child in question. This boost self-esteem and makes him feel important.
Find the reason that the child is unhappy.
Encourage your child to confide in you. Don't shout because this has an adverse effect on the situation.
When he has calmed down, ask him what he would advise a friend of his to do in a similar situation. He might come up with some original and helpful ideas.
Discuss the situation with your childs teacher at school and other adults that work with this child. Keep in mind the amount of experience that school teachers have with children your childs teacher may be able to assist you in coming up with the plan to help your child.
If needed, you can visit a child psychologist just for information (dont bring the child along).
At any age a child can start provocation and jealousy. This is usually started in childhood when the child is finding who he is. This might also start when the child hits puberty, adulthood, or adolescence; it just depends on where they live and what kind of life they live. It is easier to deal with if the child is younger because when they grow up and move out they arent going to want your advice.
Dealing with adult sibling rivalries
When adult children tend to have problems with their siblings and become disruptive during family get together some may find the best form of intervention is an adult sibling rivalry group. In this group different types of interventions will have to be implemented. Below are some basic possibilities for solving the issue of sibling rivalry:
In a group discussion discuss possible solutions to the sibling rivalry problems. The key is to remain impartial and non judgmental.
You might want to get a fresh eye on the subject; get a close friend or relative to help you with dealing with the problem and talk to the child.
Have a third party discuss this with your children. This can be a close personal friend or a distant relative.
If the second sibling is more likely to accept advice, talk to him first. You will need a lot of tact and discretion.
It isn't easy to build self-esteem in children, especially after things have got out of hand and they have begun fighting with others. Don't give up and do keep working at it though. A lot of the most successful and happy people I know grew up with strained sibling relationships but things worked out fine in the end. If you make the effort, things will work out.
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article64695.html |
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