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One Of The Most Important Marriage Tips You'll Ever Hear |
By:
Shevach Pepper |
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One Of The Most Important Marriage Tips You'll Ever Hear
Shevach Pepper
I was delighted to hear my father-in-law speak at a recent wedding. He has been happily married for over 50 years and says one of the most important marriage tips is never to be afraid to say "I'm sorry". If you do this, he claimed, you can expect many happy years of married life.
These two short and easy words can work wonders. A second before you said them, your spouse might have been scowling at you, feeling hurt and angry. As soon as you apologize, his expression will completely change. The face muscles will relax and your spouse will forgive you and everything will be back to normal.
You might think this sounds easy but there is a lot of difference in how men and women view these two words. Women find apologizing easier than most men. Men find it hard to say and don't always see how important it is.
This often causes more problems. When these words are not spoken than women assume that the feelings behind these words are not meant. Women they interpret this as her husband lacking remorse will men often see a woman's need to hear these words as a lack of self-confidence. Men need to swallow their pride and say, "I'm sorry" occasionally. Women need to be able to understand that just because a man doesn't say these words does not mean he's not feeling them. Seeing things from both a male and female perspective can help to prevent problems in your marriage.
As with all marriage tips, it is not enough merely to realize it is important. You also have to know how to carry it out.
As it is a most tips, this marriage to does no good to merely understand. It is important to also put this marriage tip into practice.
Take full responsibility for your mistakes. Don't take out your anger or embarrassment on your spouse. Instead of a half-hearted apology you need to let your spouse understand that you truly do have compassion and care about your relationship.
When misunderstandings to happen it is important to not only apologize for the error, but to do acknowledge your partner's feelings in your apology.
Be specific in your apology. An overly generalized apology can sound like a political candidate making sure that they have covered all of their bases. If there is a reason for apologizing then it should be specified in the apology.
Use proper timing. When you've done something small then an immediate it apology is appropriate. If you have done something a bit bigger and you feel that your partner's feelings may be hurt you should wait until you get a quiet moment along and then you can let her know she is the light of your life and means the world to you. Don't do this as she is leaving on her way to run errands.
Do not pass the blame to partner. An explanation does not require that someone is to blame.
Marriage tips are helpful but seldom work miracles. You cannot expect your spouse to accept every apology immediately. If you have upset them a great deal, forgiveness takes time. State how sorry you are about what you did and wait for it to work. You will both be glad of the results.
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Article Source: http://www.statssheet.com/articles/article64651.html |
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