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Can Dominant People Make Good Partners? |
By:
Bunnie |
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Can Dominant People Make Good Partners?
Bunnie
In the real world today, as I see it, there are two different types of relationships. The first of course is the one most would recognize and think they have. The second one not only is the oldest but most frowned upon by todays social standards.
Most commonly recognized and socially accepted today is the relationship where both partners share equally in the responsibilities of the relationship. This 'vanilla' type relationship most likely will have both patners working jobs outside the home and sharing in all of the day to day decisions that affect the union. It is even possible only one works outside the home while the other is a stay at home parent.
Secondly there is the "D/s" or "tradional" lifestyle. In this type of relationship one partner has more control over the day to day decisions that affect the security and tranquility of the relationship. It is possible but not necessary that one of the partners may be a stay at home parent if there are children in the family. There aren't any guidelines that specify which partner, the female or male, might take on the role of dominant or submissive.
Social conditioning has taught us to believe that 'vanilla' relationships are better for everyone involved. There are however hundreds of thousands if not millions of people that would strongly argue that a "D/s" relationship is more likely to stand the test of time. I am a submissive woman and have lived a traditional lifestyle with my husband of many years. I don't just believe but I know the relationship we share is as strong if not stronger than any relationship of fifty years. Most of my friends found it disturbing in the beginning when they first learned of our lifestyle. In time and after seeing our relationship for what it really is they have all admitted their preconceptions were wrong and in many cases have admitted that they wish for a relationship as strong as ours.
As early as biblical times men and women accepted very specific roles in their relationships. Women typically bore the responsibility for the home, children, meals, cleaning cooking etc. while the men had the 'hunter gatherer' responsibilities. In history we have seen over and over where women were relegated to a subordinated position within the relationship. I find it almost comical that up until the 20th century this was widely accepted as the norm. Divorce rates were lower, children were taught respect and manners, religion was always a big part of the core family's values etc.
Today in contrast to the past, it is expected of partners to share equally in the roles of hunter gatherer, cook, maid, child rearer etc. Given the state of the world today, highest crimes rates in all history, an almost complete disregard for teaching children the values of respecting others and honesty, I must question if society has helped or hindered relationships as a whole. I'm sure many will read this and think I'm completely nuts, but it is my opinion.
Sadly, but also funny is that if you really look at many relationship you would find that many of these couples live at least a semi-traditional lifestyle. They have an unspoken seperation of roles and responsibilities but just are afraid to let any outsiders see it for what it is. Fear of being criticized is what drives this underground lifetsyle I believe. It takes a strong person to accept specific roles in a relationship and allow the other partner total control of other things. I do believe if these people that live in the closet would just accept the advantages to a traditional lifestyle the world could be a better place. Just my opinion though.
I've listed below some food for though. Consider these things before you find fault with someone you may know or meet that has chosen to live a traditional lifestyle. If you feel like some of these qualities apply to you or your partner... maybe you are one of the many living in the closet or maybe you should consider changing how you view your relationship and the roles you have taken in it.
1. Dominant partners are keen to the reality that they are not perfect.
2. Dominants know they have flaws and accept that fact. They have come to terms with this fact and have figured out how to best control them.
3. Dominant partners realize that the proof of their dominance doesn't come from the person who might call them the boss, but from within themselves. This is proven out to them by way of their personalities, ethics, standards and values.
4. Dominants accept they have a responsibility to themselves to inform as clearly as possible all things regarding issues arrising from a traditional lifestyle. They take the time to consider their needs as well as the needs of their partner and are able to clearly state those needs to their partner.
5. Life experience have taught them the importance of trust and respect in any relationship, and they recognize that their partner can only submit to a partner with the type character that makes them worthy of trust and respect.
6. A dominant partner always understand that before they can expect a submissive partner to give over control of their lives that the dominant partner must have total control over their own lives first.
7. Dominants accept and understand that fairness, honesty, character, integrity and consistency are not just words to be used to gain an advantage on a selective basis but they are concepts that represent the character of the dominant themselves.
If you recognize any of these personality traits in yourself or your partner, then you may be living a traditional lifestyle without realizing it. If not, you may find that you have the ingrediants to build your relationship into something to be envied by all. Consider this the next time you hear someone say, "We live a traditional lifestyle". It will make you a better person for thinking before criticizing.
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