When Families Change, So Can Their Christmas Traditions
J Gardener
The unit that used to be referred to as the nuclear family has changed greatly, in the past generation. With the divorce rate steady at about fifty percent, families today split, then form new families, more than ever before. Step-families are common, which means that families are constantly undergoing changes, including changes in their traditions.
Bringing families together can be especially challenging during the holiday season. Most families, over time, have developed their own Christmas and holiday traditions, traditions which children find comforting. When one new family is formed from two, a clash of traditions and holiday habits can arise, if holidays aren't celebrated with special care.
For instance, most children cling to the belief that Santa Claus makes his famous journey late on Christmas Eve, when everyone is tucked in bed. Some families choose to gather and open the presents they've given one another on the night before Christmas. Others, however, wait until Santa's come and gone, and there's a huge pile of goodies under the tree on Christmas morning, before opening any presents at all.
Children facing new habits and traditions at a time which is supposed to be so full of joy can find themselves feeling a stress they never expected. Children are comforted by the celebration habits they've observed their whole lives, and sudden change in these habits can be stressful.
Parents need to be aware of their children's needs during the holiday season. When two families are brought into one, and stepbrothers and stepsisters are suddenly created, then it's probably wise for parents to plan ahead, with all of their children, for the holiday season, and to discuss how the Christmas celebrations should occur.
It's possible, with custody issues, that the entire new family can't be together throughout the Christmas holidays, at least not every year. Whatever the circumstances are, parents on both sides need to remember that their children didn't create the current situations, that their children didn't mandate visitation rights. But kids can be the unwitting victims of adult conflicts, especially when the holidays mean being torn from one parent or the other.
Communication is always the key to maintaining family harmony, and that's never more true than it is during the holiday season. Children need to know that they are loved and wanted, wherever they are. They need to know that Santa can find them, to deliver his toys, wherever they may be spending Christmas Eve. New holiday traditions take time to take hold. But, even newly formed families can create their own traditions, and once established, they can be as strong as any traditions, even those passed down through generations of nuclear families.
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