Log on For Love: Successful Online Dating
Murielle Freegard
Is there any wonder why online dating is wildly popular? You can search for love at any time, any day, even when you look your worst. Internet dating can be an easy way to meet new friends who share your goals and interests. As in "terrestrial" dating, there are certain risks in dealing with people you don't know. Take precautions to protect yourself from those individuals who may try to corrupt and misuse the online dating service.
Consider the following points before you dive headfirst in to the Internet dating pool:
Take it Easy. Go slow and proceed with caution. Be on the lookout for inconsistent or odd behavior. If the situation doesn't feel right, DON'T do it.
Keep it Secret. Never share your personal data with anyone you don't absolutely trust. This sort of information includes your personal email or web address, your home address, phone numbers, place of business and anything else that can help identify you in the "real" world. Guard your anonymity and protect your safety and security.
Use Common Sense. Exercise cautions at every step -- from the minute you post your initial profile, to the time you decide to meet a new friend face-to-face. Remember that potential dates must earn your trust gradually, through honest and honorable behavior.
Take a Picture. There is nothing wrong with asking for a photograph of your potential date. By having a picture, you may be able to better judge their personality. If the photo gives you a gut feeling, either positively or negatively, you'll be free to act accordingly.
Speak Before You Leap. Once you've established a comfortable rapport or intimacy with your online friend, you might decide to take the relationship to the next level. Be sure to have a few telephone conversations before you make arrangements to meet in person. A phone conversation will keep you secure and anonymous, and can reveal more clues about the person's social and communication skills.
Meet in the Middle. You are never obligated to meet anyone in person, regardless of your level of online intimacy. However, if you do decide to meet, be sure to arrange your date at a mutually convenient place. Never give your home address, or go to the person's home. Make sure that the venue is a public place where you will feel secure. Be sure to tell a trusted friend where you are going and if possible, leave your date's name and telephone number with that friend.
Travel Precautions. If you are traveling out of town to meet your date, be sure to make your own car and hotel arrangements. Keep your hotel a secret. Do not let him or her make travel or lodging arrangements for you.
Have an Escape Plan. Never do anything you feel unsure about. Know the difference between a few nervous butterflies, and your instincts telling you "no way". If you are in any way afraid of your date, safely diffuse the situation and leave as soon as possible. Your safety is always much more important than one person's opinion of you.
Warning Signs. Once you've met, be on the lookout for any displays of intense frustration, anger, controlling behaviors or attempts to find out your personal information. If your date shows hints or signs of unacceptable behavior, end the communication and find a new online friend.
Be watchful of the following signs that could spell danger:
* Will not introduce you to friends, family members or professional associates.
* Acts elusive or won't provide clear answers to your direct questions.
* Gives inconsistent information about personal details including appearance, age, marital status, interests or profession.
* Will not call you or accept your phone calls, even after you've established an ongoing online intimacy.
* Is a different person than he or she appeared in the online correspondence.
Internet dating can be a fun and convenient way to meet new people. You'll find that most men and women using online dating services are kind, interesting and honest people, just like you, looking to meet someone with similar interests. Be sensible and cautious as you explore the world of online dating, and your experience can be fun and rewarding.
Essayist Murielle Freegard writes for several popular Internet magazines, on http://tobud.com/ family life and http://poweg.com/ family issues. Don't reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free http://www.uberarticles.com/?id=26057&b=79 unique content version of this same article.
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