Let Love Find You!
Michaela Zackett
Are you single and looking for a partner? Have you had bad relationships in the past? Are you worried you might never find the right person? If so, you are certainly not the only one. In the UK these days, more and more people are living alone, or as single parents, or with their parents or friends. The number of people who go through multiple divorces is also rising.
Despite the gloomy picture painted by the figures, however, many couples do have happy marriages that last a lifetime. If this is what you want, you can have it too. The key is to approach a relationship in the right way. Just because your previous relationships have ended sadly or badly, it doesn't mean the next one will. If you learn from the mistakes you've made, it won't happen again.
First of all, you must love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you can't expect anyone else to. Yes, you have probably heard this before, but it's true. If you are looking for a partner to make you feel better about yourself, you will end up feeling even worse than you do now. Either you will put people off by being so negative or you will attract someone who will take you at your own valuation and treat you like garbage.
Furthermore, if you are relying on your partner to fill in the gaps in you, this puts a great strain on the relationship. If you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your needs, please don't think there is anything wrong with you or that you don't deserve to have your needs met. It is the unresolved issues from your past that make you feel like this and it is completely normal. The way to deal with this is not to look to your partner to bolster you but to address your issues with a counsellor or psychotherapist.
Particularly if you can see a pattern to the bad relationships you have had, it will be of immense benefit to you to talk to a therapist. If you feel getting some therapy would be shaming, be assured that it's not. If your emotional anguish were a physical pain, you would get it checked out by a doctor, wouldn't you? Why not heal yourself on the inside too? A therapist will help you to gain both self-esteem and insight into your relationship pattern.
Once you have dispelled your inaccurate image of yourself as a loser and realised what a winner you really are, turn your attention to your lifestyle. Do you enjoy your job, while not defining yourself by it? Do you live in a place you love? Have you got absorbing hobbies and interesting, supportive friends? If your life isn't as good as it should be, change it! You can do it - and it's important because if you're looking to your partner to provide stimulation and fun, your relationship will be unbalanced.
OK, so your life is good and you're feeling confident. You're ready for a partner. Now, how do you go about finding one? Well, you could join a dating agency, you could go on a singles holiday, you could ask your friends to do some matchmaking for you There are many things you can do to look for a partner.
The principal benefit of joining a dating agency is fast access to a large pool of available people within a few miles of you. The big disadvantage to this - and to every other manufactured connection - is the pressure it puts on everybody to be what someone else wants.
The best way to meet "someone special" is by chance. Concentrate on fulfilling yourself in other ways - through work, through your hobbies and particularly through your social life. You do need to get out, you do need to make sure you're always meeting new people, but do it with a view to making new friends rather than finding love as such. Join a club rather than a dating agency, go to parties, take a course, do whatever you enjoy and will bring you into contact with like-minded people.
As a final thought, the idea that there is someone out there for each of us is a myth. In fact, there are thousands of diverse people who could turn out to be a marvellous partner for any of us. If you're waiting for the perfect person, you will be disappointed. What matters is commitment. Even though you will have the odd disagreement, if you are truly committed to each other, your relationship will work. So stop worrying! Focus on enjoying life and let love come to you in its own time.
To find out more about how you too can http://www.happy-marriage.co.uk/finding-the-right-person-to-marry.html meet the right person and have a http://www.happy-marriage.co.uk) happy marriage, please consult our website! This and other http://www.uberarticles.com/?id=26056&b=79 unique content 'marriage' articles are available with free reprint rights.
|
