Here's an example of a very powerful psychological and persuasive strategy called gaslighting.
I was channel surfing a few nights ago and came across an old episode of M*A*S*H, the one where BJ is bored and decides to make some fun at Winchester's expense.
He takes a pair of Winchester's pants and replaces them with a much larger pair. When Winchester puts them on, BJ casually asks if Winchester is feeling okay, mentioning that lately he's looked a little sickly. Maybe he's not eating enough to keep up his energy, and oh boy, does he look way too thin!
Later, BJ replaces the pants that are too large, with a pair that are way too small. When Winchester changes again, BJ casually notices how heavy Winchester has become, which has a dramatic effect on Winchester, prompting him to go on a crash diet.
Having observed this all, Hawkeye asks BJ, "What's next?"
"Tomorrow he gets taller," BJ responds.
This is an example of gaslighting as a harmless prank, but the technique has far more nefarious potential and conversely when used ethically, some positive potential as well.
With all of the persuasion techniques I teach, know that they are incredibly powerful tools and when used without integrity will get you nowhere fast. They should always be used ethically and with integrity.
The term gaslighting came from the 1944 film of the same name and came to be defined as the ruthless manipulation of a person into believing something that isn't true.
In 'Gaslighting' the husband tries to convince his wife that she's insane so that she'll have to be institutionalized, thus getting her out of his way. His subtle manipulations cause her to doubt her own grasp on reality.
Using gaslighting in a way that is not unethical could include understanding how your affluent prospect interprets their own reality.
There are five main strategies employed in the technique of gaslighting and you can use each one to your advantage when persuading your affluent prospects.
The first way to employ this strategy is through the use of repetitive questioning. When you do this, you plant seeds of doubt in the mind of the person you're trying to influence.
If you watch game shows, you'll notice that they use this to raise the level of tension and oftentimes this results in the contestant doubting their decision. "Are you sure? Is this really your final answer?"
This can be accomplished without even speaking. Picture someone cocking their head, raising their eyebrow. This can install in the receiver that doubt putting them off guard.
It works all the better if you come off as having their best interest in mind.
The second strategy is to point out things that simply aren't there.
This is a particularly useful strategy in undermining a sense of reality. On the flip side, this can be used just as effectively in pointing out a person's assets and qualities, especially if the person has no idea that this quality exists within them (and even if it doesn't actually exist within them).
Appealing to someone's sense of ego and vanity is one way to use this. Think of former bosses or clients or prospects or authority figures, whose egos needed massaging. This is a form of gaslighting.
Warning: if the compliment is completely without merit, an obvious fabrication, then one is sure to be discovered. Subtlety and at least a small nugget of honesty works best here.
Strategy number three is primarily for the use of experts--someone who has specialized knowledge or divine access to information which you haven't the 'connections' to learn. . .i.e. think therapist, minister, psychics. They have very esoteric, mysterious or specialized knowledge that will give you the answer you seek. Rather, the answer that they wish for you to believe you seek.
Lowering defenses and creating more of a feeling of trust are two of the benefits of this phenomenon.
The fourth strategy is to reveal the secret thoughts of others.
Another way to view this is specialized gossip, directed directly at the person you're persuading. It's as if you're letting them in on a secret, and you're doing it because you care enough to help.
It helps to install positive behavior. Encouragement and praise are more powerful than derision and destruction.
The final strategy is using the power of many over the small, insignificant power of the one.
This is used by kids in the schoolyard, politicians, religious leaders, in the media, military and educational system. It's basically an adult version 'ganging up'.
It's a group think straight out of 1984.
It's powerful to have 'the many' on your side, and very difficult to maintain your position when you're up against the many.
As you can see, gaslighting isn't necessarily a nice practice. It is designed into trick someone into doubting themselves and their own sanity. But there are ways that gaslighting can be used for a positive outcome. You have to decide whether it's the right thing to use this technique and when it's the right time not to use it.
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies. Don't reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article.
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