"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin
Politicians and pundits call it 'spin': The ability to frame any event or situation in a way that supports your position.
There's the 'Nuclear Reduction Treaty' which on it's surface sounds like a pretty good idea. But in the world of 'spin' what something is called is not necessarily what's inside and in a very Orwellian twist, the actual substance of this treaty is to prolong the nuclear standoff between the U.S. and Russia and stockpile more weapons. Reduction?
The 'frame' around this treaty sounded pretty darn good though.
The most ironic name frame as of late is also the most well known--the Patriot Act. The name brings to mind a flowing flag, justice, liberty, and above all, freedom. And yet, the content of the act has had the exact opposite effect eroding liberty, justice and freedom incredibly.
Another framing example is the abortion debate. On one side there are the 'pro-lifers'. Their frame is to show photographs of aborted babies, villainize the other side as 'baby killers'. On the other side are the 'pro-choice' advocates who say that a fetus starts out not as an 'unborn baby' but simply a cluster of cells that has the potential to grow into a fetus and then a baby. They frame the 'pro lifers' as 'anti choice' and point out the irony that while many 'pro lifers' tend to anti abortion, they are also pro death penalty.
The anti-abortion/pro-life advocates have framed the debate most intensely by showing gruesome images and using the title 'baby killer' to make their point. Who would possibly want to align oneself with killing babies?
Framing is one of the most important tools we have in our arsenal of persuasion skills.
Framing works in all aspects of life, but let's focus on business for a moment. If you had a very difficult prospect who resisted you on every level, or a very affluent client who made you feel socially uncomfortable, what frames could be used to remedy the discomfort or resistance?
Well, instead of looking at this as a chore or a necessary evil to doing business, how about putting a new frame on it? Say to yourself, 'Wow, what an awesome opportunity to use my persuasion skills. As I approach this next person to talk to I'm going to frame our interaction in terms of using the skills instead of in terms of do they like me and will I make it.'
An example from my life of how framing can be profound has to do quite literally with a frame. My wife and I were looking at buying a Thomas Kincaid painting. They call him the painter of light. You can't buy his originals, they go to a museum, but he takes lithographs of them and then touches them up and the funny things is, if you put a light on them, like a spotlight, you can turn the light up or down and it looks like the painting is painted with day light or nighttime light. It's just unbelievable what he's able to do with his highlighting.
We ultimately didn't end up buying it, but the lady showed us the painting without a frame. And then she said, 'Now, for example, we could put it in a frame like this', and she showed me the same painting a little smaller but in this giant, ornate frame. 'Or, we could put it in this really simple frame over here that would be a lot less expensive, it would look like this.'
The painting's beauty was incredibly diminished by the 'less expensive' frame to such an extent that I had an epiphany as I was standing in this gallery. The frames we use, that we ask people to buy into in our daily lives, can be incredibly profound. We set frames with everything we do.
This week: think about the frames you've established for yourself and how they may be ready to be updated.
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies. Get your own completely unique content version of this article.
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