Are You Capable Of Love?
by Online Audio Books
For all we know, there's no one can get married without love in 21st century. (Unless you have some other purposes). Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Ask yourself, will you marry a man/woman without love?
We all have our own concept of love. Love might mean different things to different people. To some love is care, to some it is concern and to some others it is compassion and so on. Whatever ideas one might have about love, you will agree that to be able to love someone we should be able to devote our energy and time to those we love. It is more so in a marriage. In a marriage relationship, love is solace, kindness, tenderness and so many other nice feelings.
For all we know, there's no one can get married without love in 21st century. Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Being with a person without love, you would not know what your life is aiming for and whom you are living for. Moreover, you should learn how to love yourself before trying to develop a capability to love.
How does self-love help a marriage? When you love yourself and your partner, you tend to change your attitudes and approach. There are certain abilities involved in the love you extend to your partner: You would listen to him without judgment, you would recognize his emotions and needs, you would freely express your feelings without fear or reservation, you would take his criticisms in constructive ways, you would give him freedom to think and act in ways that does not harm your relationship in anyway.
A sense of deep intimacy will be achieved between you and your spouse if only you can show the above qualities. Sometimes things are not always like what we expected since no two people can live in a world without difficulties. You will tackle it in a good way without hurting each others feelings. Your relationship with your spouse will be tightening up by this type of freedom. As a matter of fact, difficulties can strengthen your relationship instead of breaking it.
How do you build your capability to love your spouse? To love your spouse in healthy ways, you can do the following:
1. Treat your spouse like the way you treat yourself.
2.Allow him to hold his own point of view which is different than yours.
3.Accept the way he acts and what he is, since he is a product of his life circumstances just like you.
4.Respect each other.
5.Learn to agree to disagree in different type of opinion.
6.Do not try to snatch his freedom.
7.In case he disagrees, let it be. Don't try to fight against and hurt your relationship.
8.Since love never comes on demand, do not demand for his attention or love. This is hard indeed because his love and attention means a lot to you. One thing for sure, you will be returned with love if you keep patient and loving to him.
9.To improve your relationship, do something for him and the only reason is that you love him.
A couple should treat each other with mutual respect and regard. Your policy should be that of give respect and take respect. If you do not respect your partner, how can you expect him to respect you? Mutual respect and regard would make the couple bond closer to each other. If you become aware and correct the above qualities you should be able to develop intimacy.
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