How to Avoid the Date with Itchy Fingers
by Sara Musfeldt
Recently on Match, Violet, my friend, met a guy. She loves camping and is fearful of blue foods, and so was he. Combined with her comfort-level of online dating, Violet agreed to a first date after only a few emails.
"I hadn't even gotten a drink yet and he went in for a kiss," Violet said. "We met at the new sushi restaurant downtown and while we waited for our table in the bar he managed to land one on my cheek."
Violet said he laughed it off and then reached for her hand. When she pulled her hand away he put his arm around her shoulders. Violet and I agree that men like this could be desperate, misunderstood, or maybe just unable to decipher social cues, but creepy nonetheless.
As far as I know footsy is a tool screenwriters use to create sexual tension among their characters. But once Violet sat down for dinner, her date promptly took off his right shoe and tried to play footsy. I can't believe people really do this.
Anyhow, Violet's response was to scowl. She has what should be a patented scowl, one that I've never been able to duplicate. It's a mixture of shock, disgust, frustration, and disapproval. I wish I could describe it better, but I'm unable to find words for the way she contorts and scrunches her facial muscles along with the way she drops her head to look at you from the corner of her eyes. It's a talent only she possesses and a message her date should have received immediately.
"There were so many problems with him at this point," Violet explained. "For starters he's flirting the way men do in soft-porn, and he wasn't smart enough to translate my scowl to really mean, back the f@#$ off! So I just asked him, flat out. 'What is your problem? Don't you know how to behave on a date?'"
Again the guy just laughed and responded by grabbing her hands across the table saying, "don't you know what its like to have someone come on to you?"
He ran his ten fingers across hers as Violet said, "I don't like it. Why are you still touching me, do you have itchy finger tips or something?"
Her decision to stay and struggle through dinner was for woman-kind everywhere. Maybe by talking to this man she could show him just how poorly he was behaving. But based on the next day's match.com follow-up e-mail, she failed. He said he enjoyed their date and looked forward to kissing her voluptuous lips and holding her hands for real, "just like grown-ups do."
"Like grown-ups do" sounds dirty, and Violet didn't know exactly what it meant. She wrote back saying "I absolutely won't go out with you again. Also, please keep your shoes on when you're in public. "
I couldn't have said it better. Violet, well done. Here is a recap for those of you out there that find yourself on a date with an itchy-fingered man:
Joke about how affectionate he is Dirty looks work Ask if he has a problem Point out his dating faux pas Follow up in an e-mail telling him what bothered you
About the Author: Sara Musfeldt operates a website filled with dating stories and dating tips for everyone. Sara has also produced an online dating guide to help single people everywhere find a date. Click here to get your own unique version of this article.
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