Stage 1: The Desire and the Longing
"Shall we start a family, darling?" The biological clock ticks, the maternal instinct weighs heavy. Seeing babies everywhere prompts a sigh, "isn't she so cute?". All helped of course by the tiresome chore called "making babies".
Act 2: The Conception
You know you have conceived when the familiar signs begin to show that include missing the period followed by morning sickness. You wonder how you will go through it, but when you feel the living presence inside, you know it is all worth it. The slight flutter turns into a kick, and you love it.
Nonetheless, the discomfort goes on increasing in proportion with the physical weight, the swollen ankles and many other discomforts.
Then comes the D-Day! You had been preparing for it for nine months yet the severity of it hits you unawares. You flinch, twitch and scream your guts out. You swear you will never let this happen to you again. Suddenly, it's over and an entirely new feeling envelopes you. You are on top of the world! A complete being has come through you!
Act 3: Packed Days, Sleepless Nights!
You go through an entirely new experience when you bring the baby home. The first few days/weeks are marked by sleepless nights, sore nipples, running around to get things done and dieting to lose all those extra pounds.
Each little step in the growth of your child is more exciting than anything you have ever known before, whether it is the first time she discovered her toe or the first time she sat for a few seconds. Then crawling, standing, walking, articulating something that resembled a word ? everything is so exciting. You write it down in the baby book with pictures and all. You feel a sense of achievement that calls for a celebration.
Unfortunately, the nursery rhymes and nursery stories that our mothers shared with us are now delegated to the TV, and that special bedtime bonding has become a thing of the past.
And suddenly it's time for the first play school. You send your child nicely scrubbed and dressed to school with mixed feelings ? happy and worried.
Stage 4: Friends and Peers
The tiny cuddly baby of yours is now ready to go school independently. Now she has another world of friends, peers and teachers. You sometimes regret you have been left out of it. But, you rejoice the fact that your little helpless baby is growing into a confident young lady.
This is also the time when they enjoy cracking jokes with each other.
Their first best friend, and first rejection. Scraped knees in the playground. And, of course, their first "it's not fair!"
How hard it is to let them go - but you can't protect them from everything.
Stage 5 ? Serious Schooling
Then comes the stage of serious schooling. Your child has to learn the basic skills of reading, writing and arithmetic. This may be fun and games for her or as difficult as scaling mountains. Whatever it is, you have to be patient and helpful, encouraging her at every little achievement. These are natural differences and should not worry you unnecessarily.
Even so, there are always the little events to remember - All she wants for Christmas is her two front teeth (along with Barbie and a puppy dog!)
This is the time to teach discipline to your child because he is no longer a little baby.
Phase 6 - Pre-teens and Puberty
Boys and girls require different treatment when they are about to enter puberty. They are different in so many ways. Girls appear to be frivolous and boys pretend to be very smart, but both need special care to cross over the various changes happening in their bodies.
This is the stage when parents know nothing about the ?in things?, be it in clothes, fashion or styles.
language is cool too.
Help her through her first bra, her first period, her lipstick and makeup, her awkwardness and so on.
Stage 7 ? Dates and Parties
Suddenly boys and girls are not so alien after all. Does (s)he fancy me?
Before you know where the time went you will see your little girl telling you that you know nothing. Indeed, you seem to live in a different world in an era long past.
Parents are out, friends are everything. So is music and fashion. And late nights. "Aw mum, why do I have to be back so early - everyone else is staying until 3 am!" Oh yeah? Are they really?
Yet, if you are accommodating, you can have an amazing conversation with your new young adult. It is very essential if you want to make sure they don't go overboard in following their peers. But, be careful; don't even try to lecture them or you will lose their attention.
Then, one day, the fireworks settle. The grunts turn into English again and like a phoenix from the ashes, and new (adult) human emerges - full of ideals and dreams and visions, but perhaps a bit short on confidence and wisdom.
Phase 8 (well, who said I could count?)
All these years of parenthood had become a habit. You went through each phase happily and not-so-happily, but your life revolved around them. Then, one day, they're gone! But, you still worry and hope for them.
Robert Munsch has put it rightly: "I'll love you, forever. I'll like you, for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" -
The moral of the story is that make the most of the years of parenthood; they will pass too quickly.
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