Trying To Get You Child To Stop Stealing
by Dr. Noel Swanson
Children steal for a variety reasons. Some steal for comfort, others to impress a group of friends, get back at their parents, or to get the things they want. Sometimes they steal just because it is exciting. Probably as many as one in four children have deliberately stolen something at some time. Most, of course, never do it again. But those who do, do so for one reason: it works. Whatever their core need: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing provides it for them.
So how do you stop it? Obviously, if you can help them to find another way to meet their needs, then they won't have to continue with the stealing.
They also must learn the value of honesty. If you are trying to help your child or someone else's, it's a good idea to talk about ordinary things like school or television. You can work in your points about the positive traits of honesty and integrity. Using this technique, you can also bring them subtly around to sharing your family's moral code.
The best way to prevent stealing from happening is to find another way to meet their needs. Once their needs are met, they won't have to continue stealing.
Keep an eye on your kids, watching for good behavior. Each time they perform an act of honesty, no matter how small, be sure to reward and praise them.
At the same time, you need to model the behavior yourself. Are you conscientious about returning change when you are given too much in a store, what do you do when you find a wallet or money in the street? Your children learn by watching you.
Keep your eyes on your children. Catch them in the act of being good instead of focusing on when they are doing something wrong. Children respond to reward and praise for their little acts of honesty. This helps promote a culture of honesty in the home.
Return the goods to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.
If your child stole something from a stranger, take it away and consider contacting the police. Also fine your child yourself.
Bring the item back to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.
Arrange for some "community service" for the victim or, if unknown, for the family or neighbours.
Giving him the chance to return the stolen goods to the victim, teaches your child about doing the right thing. If he won't do it then it's up to you to set an even higher penalty. You must stay on message, which is always doing the honest thing. Honesty is the best policy even if it comes after the theft.
Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.
The final point is to let it go once the event is over. Go back to work at rewarding right behavior and quit concentrating on the wrong. What we all should strive for continually promoting honesty. Your child isn't your enemy, the dishonest behavior is.
Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.
Finally, when it's over, let it go. Move on towards rewarding positive behavior, not focusing on the negative, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is wrong, not your child.
You can find more of Dr. Noel Swanson's excellenthttp://www.good-child-guide.com/">free parenting articles on his website. While you are there, make sure you also subscribe to his free newsletter: http://www.good-child-guide.com/ You are welcome to reprint this article - but get your own unique content version here.
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