Unless a marriage ends amiably though a mutual agreement, one partner is likely going to have trouble coping with divorce, if not both. For many, a divorce is likened to losing a loved one to death and they will experience a similar grieving process. If one partner determines they want a split and the other partner had no idea the division was imminent, coping with divorce will be much more difficult for the one left behind.
Although there are many support groups to help people while coping with divorce, their help, although well intended, may not be appreciated or understood by newly divorced individuals. If the person left behind is grieving as with a death, support group can even hinder the healing process if help is attempted to close to the event. Many times one or two very close friends are in a better position to help a person coping with divorce than a room full of strangers. Even though they may understand the feelings being experienced as they pertain to their situation, every divorce is different and they may not understand exactly how everyone feels.
When children are involved, it can be even more difficult coping with divorce as not only must the parent having custody of the children deal with their own feelings, they also have to address the emotional needs of the children
Many Groups Ignore Needs Of Kids
While support groups can often help a person going through a divorce, many of them are adult oriented and offer little assistance with coping with divorce to the children of divorce. Many divorce groups also attempt to bring divorced people together in a social environment, advocating finding another partner from within the group, but the children are often forgotten in such gatherings.
Very few organizations offer any assistance for children coping with divorce, as they believe it is a situation involving adults only and that children, especially young ones, are resilient enough to get through the trauma of watching their parents split up on their own. In reality, most children are not mature enough to understand why they are suddenly a part of a broken home and often end up blaming themselves for the divorce.
Too often one person will blame the other and the divorce for everything that is wrong with their lives, even situations where still being married would have made no difference. Blaming the other person is their way of coping with divorce and as long as they do not act out on their emotions, it may actually help them get through the initial stages of their divorce.
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