My adoptive parents are great people and great parents. They raised me well, they treated me kindly, and they always gave me everything I needed. They taught me good values and started me off on the way to living a good life. So they were surprised when I wanted to search adoption records to find out who my birth parents were. You see, most people are aware that adopted kids have issues, but few people understand how many issues adoptive parents have as well. In my family, I think that my parents are more afraid of me rejecting them than I am of them rejecting me. Needless to say, the adoption public records search was not an easy thing to do.
For a lot of adopted kids, searching adoption records is almost a rite of passage. It is hard to explain why we need to do it, but we do. I think it has something to do with the power of secrets. If you don't know where you come from, it holds a certain kind of mysterious power over you. You obsess over it and wonder over it. If you can find adoption records, however, suddenly that power is diffused. Even if you don't like your birth parents, it really doesn't matter that much. Just having met them and solved the mystery has a sort of healing effect.
The problem is, the state does not always make it easy for you to find adoption records. Adoption court records are often sealed until the kids reach 18, both for the protection of the adopted children and the parents. Once you become an adult, it can still be pretty tough tracking down your parents. If they have moved, changed their names, or just disappeared off the grid you will never find them. Parents who put children up for adoption are not, as a rule, the most reliable people in the world. Aside from that, a lot of them feel guilt about the decision and don't want to be found.
It took me about two years doing adoption record searches, But in the end I finally found them. It was a pretty powerful moment for me, and I was nervous, as were they. When we met, however, we got along well. Not extremely well, but well. It was cordial and friendly, but they don't really feel like my parents. My birth parents are my acquaintances and nothing more.
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