When you undertake your kitchen remodeling project, it is highly recommended that you do it:
in a kitchen
in your kitchen
in the daylight hours
not during “an act of God” like a flood, tornado or hurricane
You need to thoroughly plan out each phase of a kitchen remodel. Dry heads just can’t undertake this most creative and inspired of home improvement projects. You need to hole yourself up in a pub for at least a fortnight. At the end of this creative endeavor, not only will you have scores of plans to do a kitchen remodel, dry rot removal and reinventing the wheel, you will also have an incredible archive of horror kitchen remodel, dry rot and reinventing the wheel stories from everybody else in the pub.
Tools You Will Need
In doing any kind of kitchen remodel, dry rot removal or wheel reinventing, you need the proper tools for the job. They are:
someone else’s tools
lots of tarp
beer
a noisemaker like a radio or television
a working telephone for an ambulance
at least ten mates who promise to help you and never show up
Spread your plans out, nod, say “uh-huh” a lot, crack open a cold one to get your mind going and then decide the best way would be to research kitchen remodel, dry rot removal and wheel reinventing projects by watching a week’s worth of telly.
The Perfect Time To Remodel
The best time to undertake any kitchen model, dry rot removal or wheel reinventing is directly after a natural catastrophe. Then you don’t have a much of a choice. Be sure you have homeowner’s flood or fire insurance to help pay for a builder to carry out your remodeling plans. If the disaster was on a large scale, you may be able to qualify for government grants. Don’t spend too much time mourning for the wrecked house, especially the kitchen. If you were thinking of remodeling any part of the house to begin with, it couldn’t have been worth saving now, could it? Look on the bright side: you won’t have to worry about mopping the floors or cleaning the gunk out of the oven for ages now. Gather up your mates or what’s left of them and go to either the pub or off license, or whatever’s left standing. Everyone comfort themselves that it could be worse – at least they’re not freelance journalists having to write an article entitled “Kitchen Remodel Dry Humor”.
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