I was never one for caring about my high school. I moved around a lot so I was never in one place for very long. I had friends wherever I went, but none of them were what you would call lifelong friends. I didn't ever bother with the yearbook because I knew that I would be leaving soon enough. I did end up graduation from the school where I stared kindergarten, and because it was my last year, I decided to get my high school yearbook to remember something about the people I had known.
I remember getting my high school yearbook, but I have no idea what I have done with it. It seems to be missing and I'm not sure I will ever find it. I must have left it somewhere, and that somewhere might be a place I cannot get back to. If I left my high school yearbook when I moved away from the city, it is gone forever. I'm not too beat up about it though, as I have long moved past most of those friends, though I do miss them and I hope they are doing well.
I guess because I moved so much that I could never get attached to anyone or anything, and it just became to painful back then to really have any close friends. I had friends, and seeing a high school yearbook to remember them would be OK, but it wouldn't be the same feeling most people get when they leaf through one. I guess I protected myself from the pain of separation by never getting to close to anyone who might smile up at me from the pages of a high school yearbook. I did it to stop the pain.
I got over that, and now have many close friends that I can't imagine not having in my life. I got over having to block my heart from anyone, as I am now in charge of my own life, not my parents. I remember leafing through my mom's high school yearbook and seeing how many wonderful things her friends had written about her. I can't blame my parents from having to move so often, and I can't really blame anyone for the fact that I learned to block people out. I just don't miss anyone, though perhaps that would change if I could find my high school yearbook. It doesn't matter though, as I have a full life now, and I know that though some think that life began and ended in high school, but I don't. Life is good now. How do we get a yearbook for that?
|
