Are you one of those shy types that have a hard time in a room full of people because you can't seem to think of anything to say? Do you find it difficult to walk up to someone you don't know and get a conversation going? If so, you're certainly not alone. Conversation is an art that must be cultivated, just like a bed of flowers, in order to get good results. It's not difficult, but it does take practice. Let's look at a few ideas you can use for conversation starters at the next opportunity that presents.
To become a good conversationalist requires that you get outside of yourself, so to speak. It's hard to be self conscious if you're looking towards others with a mind to them rather than yourself. It's a fact that most people like to talk about themselves and their lives. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because other people are interesting and you can learn a lot from hearing their opinions. You just need to draw them out.
Let's say you're in the grocery checkout, or at a bus stop. There's a matronly lady, rather ordinary except for her eyeglasses, which are tinted purple in the top half, fading to a vivid pink in the lower half. Now there's a conversation starter waiting to happen. Instead of standing there, mutely staring, try this approach.
“Your glasses are so pretty! They're very unusual. Where did you get them?” A perfect conversation starter, well suited for your practice. The woman is bound to be flattered that not only did you notice, but you've complimented her on her good taste. She will undoubtedly respond in a friendly way.
Even if you're the shyest of people, being a good observer and listener is key to breaking the ice with very simple conversation starters to get the ball rolling. Quiet people are often good observers and therein lies your opportunity. Look for signals from other people which declare their individuality.
These signals may not be overt expressions and may indeed be subtle. For example, at a party, you may spot an attractive man or woman with whom you'd like to strike up a conversation. Instead of focusing on how you look or agonizing over what they may think of you or a potential rebuff should you approach them, look to them for conversation starters.
Perhaps that woman you're dying to approach is wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a “Save the Whales” logo. There you go. Aha! Another conversation starter. You just waltz over and begin with something like “Excuse me, I noticed your shirt – a friend of mine is really into environmental issues, but I don't know a lot about the whales thing ...”. These types of conversation starters are sure to have the lady talking a blue streak in no time.
Just remember to focus on the other person and their interests rather than your own. Be a good listener and observer, and conversation starters will be a piece of cake!
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