First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a
real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs
and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to
give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if
you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if
the other person feels the same of course (both sides count).
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both
need to remember what brought the two of you together in the
first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both
physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her
personality? This will help not taking the other for granted,
which can often happen after two people have been together for a
long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does
mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after
a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem
can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and
effort.
Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about
things, so never expect a person to always see things your way.
However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a
relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for
things like whether or not it is important for the both of you
to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each
other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some
people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some
alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on
your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do
not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a
while…depending on how long you have to wait!
Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship.
There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in
which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take
it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep
breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a
certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an
unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they
are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to
mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of
them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you
will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter
what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship,
unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you
(which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).
Honesty is also at the top of everyone’s list when it comes to
what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know
that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of
safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that
they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the
truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect,
which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that
fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead
of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you
knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks
respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the
relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the
mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to
know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the
sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized
this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your
wrong doings to the other.
Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. No one
desires to be with someone who judges them and rejects them for
who they are or certain traits of their personalities. That is
the beauty of being individuals. We are entitled to our own
decisions, hobbies, goals, etc. When some one truly loves you,
they love the whole package you come in, which means the
physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and hobbies that
come along with you. The person you choose to be with should
support your dreams and respect your hobbies.
Kindness and thoughtfulness are both equally important in a
healthy relationship. Your partner needs to be considerate of
your feelings and treat you with care and kindness, as if you
were a sweet delicate rose. He or she does not need to attend
you like a babysitter, but should be there for you when you need
him or her, or when you do not need them, but just because you
want them. They should just want to be with you as well. The
point of a relationship is not depending on each other for our
self- health, but being a part of the others life. You should be
responsible for your own happiness and esteem, not your partner.
So remember, a healthy relationship is when you and your partner
can be yourselves, be honest with each other, be patient, accept
one another, be kind and remembering to be thoughtful. With an
open and caring relationship like this, your love is sure to
grow and grow like beautiful trees do, because they receive the
proper care from the sun and the rest of nature. Our partner is
our sun and water, as we are to them. Together, you can keep
your relationship happy and healthy.
Click on the address to make a comment on this article:
info@love-sessions.com
For Professional and Immediate advice, click here.
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for
http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need for dating,
relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through
e-sessions.
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